I posted something important on Patreon last night and I didn't post it to FA because it 'wasn't relevant' yet, but, guess who jinxed it?
Three somewhat major things: Jake's great-grandma passed away this morning, his boss cut his hours hoping he'd quit, and my mother is shooting heroine/coke and dating a drug dealer.
Now, the great-grandmother thing has sort of been handled. His grandparents will be paying for his flight and he'll go to the funeral sometime next week. As far as the job goes, he's unsure whether he'll just quit because jobs are incredibly hard to find here as it is, or if he'll stick it out and keep his 2-3 days a week and have us (most likely) get kicked out because we can't afford rent on that budget.
Concerning my mother, she's...problematic to begin with and has been mentally ill for years. She's currently on schizophrenia medication and bipolar disorder medication, and with her now doing drugs--and I know she is because she has a new, scummy bf and my mom who's terrified of needles suddenly has lots of track marks--I don't think her medication will keep her stable for long. She's physically abusive off of them and I'm worried she'll either end up shot by this new guy OR she'll overdose and there's nothing I can do.
WHY AM I SAYING ALL THIS?
Mostly, I'm afraid this will affect me more than it does. I took a hiatus for my surgery, my dad lost his job, Jake might be about to lose his, and we can't afford to live here if that happens. My dad charges a decent amount for rent, but that's through a combined effort of Jake and I and I can't keep opening for commissions and getting backlogged/trying to juggle two comics. People always say worry about yourself, but, I can't. I need this art thing to work, and I need a miracle for things to get better here.
As it stands, my own mental state is super skewed. I'm not sure if my depression is flaring up or if it's stress and as TMI as it is, I've had a heavy period nonstop since my surgery and I'm fatigued mentally and physically all the time. But I need to work and with constant dropkicks from life, it's growing harder and harder.
Now, I'm not asking for donations and I'm certainly not asking for people to put pity on me and commission me--though I could desperately use the funds--I have a LOT of clients still waiting on their pieces and I can't take on more. However, I do ask for some patience until things calm down. I'm doing my best to work on things and trying to not get hit with any more curveballs and I'm sorry for making people wait. My life's pretty scummy and I need to stop letting it interfere with my work. I've always been delicate, but, I'm sorry. Once I buck up, I'll do my best to get back on working with the comic and to try and wait for this shit to blow over.
I'm sorry if this journal was a jumbled mess; it's pretty much reflective of my thoughts right now.